When somethin' is itchy... scratch it.

There is one thing that I learned early about parenting and that is no matter what you do in the naming, nurturing, feeding, bathing, holding, medicating, dressing, safety measuring, financial investing, soothing, etc, your child, there will always be many, many people who have a big problem with the way you're doing it all. Along the way Cyril and I have figured out what really works for our family without thinking too much about how we may be perceived. After all, we know our kids more than anyone else.

This brings me to the point of this mess of a story.
Day 1 of our last vacation up to Anglin Lake- Horseflies and mosquitoes are fierce, downright mean, picking on our poor skinny Manny. Don't they know that he swells up like crazy after being bit and refuses to kill anything!! Even ruthless insects!! We slather him up with sun screen and bug spray and get him out in the tube behind the boat. He's a great sport.
Day 2- Manny seems to have been attacked in the night. The spots are everywhere. By midday he is laying on the couch, under a blanket, cause he's got the chills. Tired and itchy. Starting to be a bite suspicious why Manny has so many more bug bites then everyone else.... Hmmmmm.
Day 3- Manny's spots are blistering, he is running a fever and we are well stocked with calamine, Tylenol, and colloidal oatmeal bath powder.... the chicken pox are even worse the bugs. Can't sleep..... too itchy. Too bitchy. Did I mention that by this time Tao is noticing some itchy spots all over her cute body too? Must be bugs bites, think happy thoughts.
Day 4,5,6- Tao and Manny were such troopers. Manny and I stopped counting at 256 spots( not including his butt, scalp, inside his mouth, and back of the legs). Tao wasn't hit as bad but every time Manny needed relief, Tao did too.
Day 7 through 11- much, much less itchy. Much, much less bitchy. And Manny celebrated a big fifth birthday! Off to Emma Lake we go.






I guess that wasn't the real point but a point none the less. The real point is that back in the beginning of July our Alex had a bit of a rash on his neck, below his TMJ. It started out looking like a patch of eczema but over the course of 3 days had developed blisters on top of blisters. And of course you don't rush to the doctor when your oldest of three gets a small rash below his ear. So on the 4th day we go, only to be told that it is poison ivy.......or........ shingles. In either case we can do nothing.... but if it is shingles and you had come in the first 72 hours we could have treated it and it would vanish. Dammit.
So we skip the last day of Vacation Bible School and take the weekend to re-cooperate. All is well. Pledge as unfortunate family vacation and chalk it up to a inconvenient part of their youth.

BUT........ why is my 7 year old developing shingles, and why does he worry so much? Why does he grind his teeth so loudly that it wakes me up from down the hall and why does he flail and have arguments in his dreams? He thinks long and hard about everything but gets distressed if he doesn't have an answer. He tries to control every situation he is in and has even mentioned that he supervises the kids at school during recess to just make sure they are playing safely. Why? He thinks and thinks, and thinks. Is Alex going to be prone to developing shingles when he is under a lot of stress? What was he so stressed out about, he's on summer vacation after all?
So here I have a little boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders and I don't know how I have let this happen, or what to do for him, or how to stop it from happening to the other two.

Is there ever a time in a parents life that they realize that they may be doing things all wrong? Like freaking out about germs, or bike helmet safety, or the nutritional content of every meal digested. And being overprotective and paranoid about coaches, teachers, neighbors, and God knows who. Has anyone ever had that moment where they know that parenting really just isn't working out? Seriously. Despite all the care and love and discipline that you invest in these little people, things can just go terribly wrong.

I post this question only because I am wondering, not cause I'm ready to throw in the towel. Nope, not me. I'm going to stick this one out and see.

Ahhhhhh, I feel itchy just thinking about it.